Move Me

Dry Bones,
Waiting for the winds to blow

Dry Bones
Waiting for an overflow

I know, I know you can save me

First on my knees
Then on my face
I can't find my feet again

Because I can't go on until You move me

So breathe life into these dry bones.

I won't go on if You don't move me.
No, I can't go on until You move me.
So, move me.

Beth Baxter

I learn the hard way.

I'm not sure what God is trying to teach me...or why my life has been so hard lately. Obviously I can't see the big picture, but perhaps I can see glimpses of God's purpose in my circumstances. I just want my life and circumstances to work out, but I always seem to end up taking the hard way. One small example-- buying a condo in Seattle. I prayed and prayed that it would be easy...that I would find a place quickly, buy it, and enjoy the rest of my time in Washington. But, it turned out to be a long, often painful process. I made several offers, backed out of my first contract, lost my second bid...changed my plane ticket and tried again. Then, finally, the third place worked out and I bought a great place that is just what I need [not more than I need (like the first place) or less than I need (like the second place). Why did God have me go through all of that? Why wasn't it easier? Why did I have to try and fail twice before getting it right? I don't know. I think God is teaching me to trust Him and to have faith...and that He is in control even when it seems like things are going all wrong. God is sovereign and gracious. He loves me and has a plan for me. I just have to keep trying, pray, make decisions, and trust Him.

"I ask you how many times will You pick me up
When I keep on letting You down
And each time I will fall short of Your glory
How far will forgiveness abound
And You answer "My child, I love you
And as long as you're seeking My face
You'll walk in the power
Of my daily sufficient grace."

The Aquarium!

Checking in...

I made it safely back to G-vegas and things are going pretty smoothly here. I am still working on a loan...but its coming along fine. It was great to be back at Mitchell Road for church today...and I am looking forward to the aquarium in Atlanta tomorrow. So, I could write more but I should head to bed so I can get a few hours of sleep before the drive to ATL!

Sick & Tired

yes, that's right... I have a cold- my nose is running, my head hurts, and I'm really, really tired. I'm not just extremely sleepy but I am emotionally beat down- this last year and the last few days has been rough. I am excited to have found a condo (after three tries), but now finding the "best loan" seems like a daunting task. I don't have the drive to call lots of banks and get good faith estimates and then fight for the best rate.

Third times the charm! :)

the courtyard

built in desk area
wood burning fireplace
murphy bed and built in bedstand (and my cousin, jessica)
the view


specs: 450 square foot studio, has one secure parking space in the garage (which is just a short ride down the elevator!), washer and dryer in the unit, a bathroom :), etc...

I bought a condo yesterday! :) It was a crazy day.

Now my computer adapter won't work.... so my laptop is going to die very soon...

Didn't get it. Oh well.

still at SEA

Alright. I am sitting in bauhaus coffee shop on capitol hill waiting to hear about this condo. i am wondering...is there someone out there that is willing to spend more than $200,000 on a 450 square foot studio? should i be? what am i going to do if i don't get this place? keep looking, i guess...only there aren't any other places available right now- not with parking. its discouraging. i miss south carolina and my friends. i don't want to hang out in seattle any more, not without my own space to escape to. i am tired. i changed my plane ticket this morning...or else i would be boarding a plane right now on my way back to greenville. instead i am hanging out with pierced, tattooed, coffee-drinking maniacs! :) i guess its kinda cool. ok, i'm gonna stop and wait...

the new possibility

Looking again...

The co-op didn't work out...so I am back to looking for a place. I found a cute studio apartment today! It is a quite a bit smaller than the other place and doesn't have as many perks- but it is nice, has a great bay window, and has parking. I am going to make an offer on Sunday, then we'll see how it goes...

Co-op Woes

I really like the new place...I got it inspected today and it pretty much checked out great! Unfortunately, I am discovering that financing for co-operatives (my type of building) is more complicated than for condos or houses. Add to that new rules about using my medical student loan debt to determine my loan eligibility...and its a mess. I'm trying not to get too stressed...my mortgage broker is working on it and will call me tomorrow to let me know if I'll be able to get approved for a loan. If not...I'll have to start looking again. :( We'll see...

My new place!

I'm really excited! I signed a contract on my first place yesterday! Its a one bedroom co-op on Capitol Hill in Seattle! Its SO cute...and AWESOME! It may not look too impressive to all of you out there who are buying houses :) ...but its a great deal for Seattle! Its 600 sq ft, maple floors, has a glass-enclosed balcony, lots of closet space, indoor swimming pool, available parking, storage, is close to Virginia Mason...its just great!

Last Day of Skool

Naomi and I with our Senior Mentors, the Manleys

Naomi, Amanda, Jen, Me, Miranda in the hallway of USCSOM on our last day of medical school ever...now we just have graduation! After this picture was taken, I went to the financial aid office for my exit interview. Ahh...debt...it was a high price to pay.

Next Hurdle...

Next big task--> finding a place to live in Seattle
...

Mortgages, pre-approval, 100% financing, brokers, earnest money, loans...it's a totally new world. This must be how some patients feel when they go to the doctor...its way over my head. But, people buy houses all of time. I'll probably fly to Seattle in the next couple of weeks and start looking at places! I hope I can find somewhere to live...and have that done... Places in Seattle are SO expensive...

...

God wants our faithfulness,
not our success.

Hanging in Cola

Today was the first day of Capstone...two weeks of classes/workshops in Columbia to finish up medical school! Today we learned about:
1. Medical licensing- basically the top four ways doctors can lose their licenses...
2. Medicine and the Media- how to talk to reporters and defend yourself against the media
3. Residents as Teachers- how to teach medical students...since you are going to be the doctor responsible for teaching them.

Whatever...I learned some stuff! But, the best part is...we finished early in the afternoon and I've been hanging out with friends in Columbia ever since. Jen, Amanda, Miranda, Kristy, Karissa, and I went out to dinner at the Mellow Mushroom...then Kristy had to go by the school of medicine. We roamed the halls talking to first and second year medical students who were studying diligently in the library at 8pm. I am SO thankful that I am not a first year medical student anymore! :) That was SO long ago... Now, seven of us are watching The Holiday at Kristy's house having fun girl time! Gotta go watch the movie!

You say: "It's impossible"
God says: All things are possible
(Luke 18:27)

You say: "I'm too tired"
God says: I will give you rest
(Matthew 11:28-30)

You say: "Nobody really loves me"
God says: I love you
(John 3:16 & John 3:34 )

You say: "I can't go on"
God says: My grace is sufficient
(II Corinthians 12:9 & Psalm 91:15)

You say: "I can't figure things out"
God says: I will direct your steps
(Proverbs 3:5-6)

You say: "I can't do it"
God says: You can do all things
(Philippians 4:13)

You say: "I'm not able"
God says: I am able
(II Corinthians 9:8)

You say: "It's not worth it"
God says: It will be worth it
(Roman 8:28 )

You say: "I can't forgive myself"
God says: I Forgive you
(I John 1:9 & Romans 8:1)

You say: "I can't manage"
God says: I will supply all your needs
(Philippians 4:19)

You say: "I'm afraid"
God says: I have not given you a spirit of fear
(II Timothy 1:7)

You say: "I'm always worried and frustrated"
God says: Cast all your cares on ME
(I Peter 5:7)

You say: "I'm not smart enough"
God says: I give you wisdom
(I Corinthians 1:30)

You say: "I feel all alone"
God says: I will never leave you or forsake you
(Hebrews 13:5)

Psalm 130

From the depths of woe I raise to Thee
The voice of lamentation;
Lord, turn a gracious ear to me
And hear my supplication;
If Thou iniquities dost mark,
Our secret sins and misdeeds dark,

O who shall stand before Thee

To wash away the crimson stain,
Grace, grace alone availeth
Our works, alas! Are all in vain;
In much the best life faileth;
No man can glory in Thy sight,
All must alike confess Thy might,

And live alone by mercy

Therefore my trust is in the Lord,
And not in mine own merit;
On Him my soul shall rest, His word
Upholds my fainting spirit;
His promised mercy is my fort,
My comfort and my sweet support;

I wait for it with patience

What though I wait the live-long night,
And ’til the dawn appeareth,
My heart still trusteth in His might;
It doubteth not nor feareth;
Do thus, O ye of Israel’s seed,
Ye of the Spirit born indeed;

And wait ’til God appeareth

Though great our sins and sore our woes
His grace much more aboundeth;
His helping love no limit knows,
Our upmost need it soundeth.
Our Shepherd good and true is He,
Who will at last His Israel free

From all their sin and sorrow